Paul doesn't remember going to the bar and slept on someone's porch...doesn't know whose porch...maybe near Howard U.
It's an Italian thing I guess, grew up on that shit.
I'm Irish, we don't eat cow guts unless they're blended into a fine whiskey
you act like breakfast cereal isnt an entirely appropriate chaser
The bar owner gave me permission to push people into the pool. I'm never going to leave Los Angeles
that wasn't rum that I poured down your throat while you were sleeping
Day drunk and a can of soup and wine straight from the bottle and alone and on my kitchen floor.
Just had a memory of you pretending to be a begging dog putting your head on my lap while I fed you. Great night to try a new drug.
It was like giving head to a cactus.
And know that if I ever text "road head?" that it comes from a place of caring and not a place of heartlessness..
Are you doing trivia tonite? Also sorry I peed on you.
The whole time we were hanging out my vagina was yelling at me like its a real live penis that wants to have sex with us what are you doing
Is it weird that the best sex I've ever had was to Barbara Streisand's Christmas album?
He sends me the same inspirational quote quotos that my grandma does. I no longer want to tap that.
Our relationship revolved around Taylor Swift albums. It's no wonder it ended so fast
I know you won't see this for awhile, but I had to tell somebody, and you're like the only person who won't judge me for having an accidental erotic encounter with General Tso's chicken.
Randomize
