pwbgyin
what?
penguin condom
If you get a breast reduction, you have to let me see them before hand at least once. It's a rule.
just caught my little brother jacking off the family pet
Best idea ever: Giving hobos a beer and having a chugging contest to win another beer. Most fun I have had downtown in a while.
all ill say about last night is that we tried to stop you. oh and the bus you're on is going to nashville.
every time i recognize a doctor or patient at the hospital on this rotation, i just pray it's not from my blackout saturday makeout slut moments...professionalism shouldn't count on weekends
dude there is absolutely no room for a slide in our room
I passed out on the floor of a truck stop. Drinking binge 2011 is now over.
Taking shot for every red box on your worst bracket. I have 30. I might die tonight.
There is a guy dressed as Captain America in the theatre. I want to make out with him even though I have no idea what he looks like. Wish me luck, I'm going in.
Jazzercise themed birthday pub crawl. 6 bars in 6 hours.everyone was a hot mess.
His ex-girlfriend just gave his current girlfriend the heimlach omg omg omg help this is so awkward
School starts Thursday. Don't fling yourself out of the car to throw up screaming "classy" before I park this time.
It's a new year.
Btw "you gettin a workout in" isn't a great gym pickup line. Like no I'm fucking grabbing lunch on my way to class.
I see more hoeing in ur future
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