I'm sorry I'm just not ready to become vampire yet
Even Lady Gaga hates Purdue
with your flexibility, and the size of my penis, amazing things are possible.
All I can think about is getting a lawsuit and chocolate
he needs a life. he was like frothing at the mouth to cockblock you
Can I bring home a duck? Dead serious
He left in the middle of the night, he left his shoes behind and stole my doc martens..size 6 female. Wtf?
That awful moment when there is no more beer and you find yourself considering tequila and aloe juice.
I just coughed and my vagina hurt. We need to hook up more.
YOU JUST GOT OUT OF THE HOSPITAL AND YOU'RE ALREADY DRINKING?!
I dunno that I'd be trusting enough of junkyard tequila to drink it.
There's a weed, money and oreo filled pinata promised for our party.
I don't really want to explain what i mean by this so just answer yes or no. are 5 cows enough?
He is completely naked, curled in a ball, and rocking back and forth in the shower humming lullabies to himself. This is your responsibility since I'm going to be fucking someone in 5.7 seconds.
I think he is using me to sort through his relationship issues, past and present. I did not sign up for this. All I want is booty. Am I the dude in this relationship?
Randomize