he wasnt into me til he saw how good i was at ms pacman. wtf why does this always happen? when she kisses pacman it was a little awkward, so i made my move. i went for more than one kind of banana last night!
We can get Dustin to help us. I think he'd be good at luring girls into a dark alley.
On your way out, lock the front door. And by lock the front door, I mean find the door handle, reattach it, and then lock it.
These fall allergies are really hindering my cocaine habit.
Dude just walked down the street literally wearing nothing but a small box around his waist carrying a case of beer. I want to live here for the rest of my life.
When a chinchilla decides to sit on your face while you're getting head from its owner, you bond.
There's a guy in here whose face looks like it would be perfect between my legs.
Its a "sake bomb in the bathroom during class" kind of day.
he asked me to lick his asshole and I told him his girlfriend could do that for him
Hahahaha who is sleeping in the garage on our beer pong table?
I'm confident that their children would come out as 100% authentic rats
I just farted and its sounded like it was disappointed in me.
So vagazzling was a success
I picked up a towel, and butt beads fell out of it.
Oh yeah... Surprise!
Remember that one time you told the bartender he was fuckable? Well, he's here.
Randomize
