Do you ever think that bumblebee is the gay transformer?
Every day of my life.
if you do not get any action from him tonight, I am personally walking my drunk ass over there grabbing his tongue and sticking it in your mouth. this is getting ridiculous
on the way to work, i saw an empty wine bottle sitting in the middle of an intersection. i thought of you.
i can respect that.
i just had to wipe vomit off my fone to text you. yeah that hungover.
I don't think a check that has "thx for the drugs" on the note is really gonna fly.
there's a barbecue in the shower. I'd like to know who got this to fit inside perfectly. impressive
while she was riding me, she looked at me and said "this is why mom told me learning how to ride a horse would be important for my future"
Lead with your genitals is the best advice I can give you.
Who would've thought that Monopoly night would've ended with some girl peeing on the couch.
They found you popping and locking it alone in the parking lot
I'm spring cleaning all of the fuck boys out of my life.
enjoying your night?
do dogs like to salsa?
I dont know if that answers my question or not
yeah. i tried to refuse to leave unless the burger king himself escorted me out. that didnt fly
I totally fucked your pastor last night.
You're his wife.
Still a dirty get down.
My Dachshund waddled into the room carrying a rolled-up pad in her mouth with period blood. This day is clearly off to a good start.
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