This is how I know I have no life... Jon and Kate are my emotional roller coaster.
worse things have happened to me. but if it will make you feel better you can pay for my therapist sessions next week.
I just recorded courtney puking and set it as my ringtone.
i woke up with "only hugh can prevent florist friars" written up my arm ... i need to know what we did last night
Could you please tell them to stop whispering "thundercunt" every time I walk in the room?
you woulda been proud of me tonight though. i only made out with 2 guys. and in my defense one of them was to get a job after graduation.
It's like if you got one of your titties chopped off...think of how much one would miss the other...that's how I feel when we're apart. A tit with no twin.
Finally buying a camera. Missed out on recording a 3way last night. Hindsight. Ugh.
He just subscribed to one of my Spotify playlists. The next step is sex.
there is nothing ok with the fact that that was the 4th time i peed in the same parking ramp
YOU KNOW BRAZILIAN BOYS ARE MY WEAKNESS
The owner was showing me around and pointed at one of the bars and said "this is the one you're allowed to dance on. I could tell you wanted to ask." DREAM JOB.
I told him about the time I blacked out and shit myself and he still wanted to have sex with me that night. Feeling pretty optimistic about where this fling is going.
Went to go look for a friend that was missing since 3am, found her passed out in the hallway of the apartment, guessing it was a good night
why the hell are you crying over taco bell?
Randomize