Ninja stars and alcohol are a bad combo
Just saw a man jogging. For recreation. At 3am. Who's he training to be, batman?
If God had a period, it would result in diet faygo redpop
last thing I heard her say before I passed out was 'this is great. I never get to be the big spoon.'
I need to shower. I still have paint on me from the homeless guys
she looks like one of those semi-pretty girls that turns into a 9 while she's riding your cock like she's trying to catch a train on horseback.
last karaoke night = doing dmx songs with a guy who threatened to stab me. so yeah I'm coming out.
Somewhere in this city is a lost rubber penis that needs to find its way back home
Literally every boy I've dated is now in a somewhat successful band. My vagina has obviously been blessed by the rock gods.
I'm in the line at Chipotle thinking: "What combo will best prepare my body for the open bar I'm going to subject it to tonight?"
Whatever. I just want to indulge in this mcchicken and forget all about his tiny penis.
It's like jay gatsby himself preordained that our genitals meet again.
Seriously if we go to rome ur fucking me into the sunset on a wrought iron balcony overlooking Vatican City
Just hit on a girl with the line, "You look like Natalie Portman if she did drugs". Strike 1
after we fucked i left the room and when i came back he was patting his dick whispering "prouda you lil guy...prouda you"
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