my weekend in 10 words or less: hot friend of a friend, open bar, beach house, sore. In that order too.
Hold on, I'm google imaging "vagina close ups" to see if mine match up
I woke up with a picture of my dick as my background. still wondering if it was a good night or not.
had a convo with my professor before class while peeing... new level of awkward or a breakthrough in our relationship? i feel like there is no longer a professional boundary.
I really don't think you should have 'baptized' your tattoo in vodka the same night you got it.
I'm giving you a get out of sober free card for one of the nights
But how do I turn off the feelings though?
Vodka.
He literally wrote out a schedule. On it, there's a taco break, and a spot where I start crying.
I just bought emergency deodorant at Dominick's and put it on in front of a homeless man while waiting for the bus. He laughed and said 'girl, you a mess'. This is my life.
I'm hoping you were seen by someone holding a frozen turkey at 230 in the morning
there is a spider sitting on top of my weed like he owns it or some shit
no but seriously tf do i do? i have that spider phobia but i think my lvoe of the weed overpowers it
Getting drunk at 9 am is not a super power.
He deserves someone who will touch his penis at 3 a.m.
We need some Captain and Fanta. That shit will change your life. Sidenote, bring an IV drip to hook me to in the morning
Just remembered that I got laid thanks to my glow in the dark Batman belt buckle. Need to wear it more often.
Randomize
