I want to snug with you.
You want my snuggie?
Tell me I did not drive one hour for whiskey dick.
What would you say if someone told you they liked your lips?
Which ones?
I am going to be in the room whjen you have your first child and spit on its face before its even all the way out of you.
I wonder if she has a lisp when she orgasms...
I realized that I earned the name Classy cassie as i was throwing up vodka slushie in my bed with a guy I know by the name extacy boy
so i decided to listen to you and went ahead and slept with him. you owe me 3 minutes
She was singing my heart will go on into her barf bag. celine aint got shit on her.
Why do you keep getting laid in MY dreams
What color are my eyes?
Ummmm... 34 C?
Sorry about the weird guinea pigs text. I was drunk and they were freaking me out
I was hooking up with this girl last night and she's on top of me with "Flux Pavilion - I can't stop" grinding in the background and I thought "Holy shit I'm going to do a lot of Molly this semester."
GOOD MORNING. Have you seen the Avenger vibrators?
Sneezing cum all over the table was not the highlight of the family reunion if that tells you anything
Drunk me wants sober me to be happy, woke up with half a dozen doughnuts in my bed this morning.
Randomize
