In the future we'll all be gay
I think I saw a glimmer of recognition, but she must not have been able to make me out through all of her whorishness.
I saw his dick soo much last night when I saw him this morning all I saw was penis where his face should be
To think... Somewhere, too drunk by buckcherry is someone's theme song
This is my last and worst hangover of the decade...I almost cherrish it
Just looked at my outgoing calls. Seems I had a 7 minute convo with my 10th grade english teacher at 2:56 am Saturday...
Its like they don't get that I only talk to them before homecoming, thanksgiving, or any other time I go home. I love highschool girls.
We were confused who drove until we went outside and her cupholders were torn out of the dash and laying on the ground
This is the 4th time we've hooked up, and this morning we woke up, he got out of bed and left. Left me alone in his apartment with 3 of his friends. Without even a word. Why do i like this guy?
Admittedly shitfaced... I have two questions. 1)why is the fan in my bathroom on? (Sub-text: is there a ghost?). 2) is your underwear really argyle?
im glad im back to a point in my life where i have enough sex to sometimes be offered and be like naw im good.
I have not brushed my hair. I'm wearing a yoga hoodie. I look like I slept in a gutter somewhere. Today is going to be a good day.
I may or may not of seen my high school physics teacher making out with my old high school boyfriend at the bar last night
He has a beach house and a Simba tattoo. Our wedding is next Tuesday, hope you're free.
Sorry for prompting a philosophical penis discussion at 10:45 on a Friday night.
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