that drag queen yelled at him and touched me to make him jealous and said things like this is what a real man feels like. it was a thrill.
So currently I have a block of cheese duct taped to my air conditioner in lieu of a fridge.
No, i know about the eggs and penis, the oh wow was for the fire
She just got out of the car and said "hold on purse.. It's going to be a bumpy ride"
I made him ride the giant pony statue in my friends little sisters room before i let him get in the bed.
Penises. Everywhere.
You're. Welcome.
We need to tone down the drinking before our 7pm class. I don't remember receiving any of these handouts.
I asked for a steak knife but the waitress could see in my eyes it was a bad idea
I can't even remember the last time I took my own pants off
Things were easy when he was just a penis. Now he's a penis with feelings.
I'm pretty sure I just discovered what the American Dream is said the person eating a hotdog for breakfast in bed in her underwear
Right now, there's some ten year old kid getting ready to go outside and play basketball. He will soon find out his basketball hoop was no match for my car.
Swish.
he said "i'm the cat whisperer, watch". he took a hit from the pipe, grabbed the cat and blew the smoke in its ear. he grinned and the cat started purring. it was magnificent
You should probably come home from vacation now. I make badddd decisions when you're gone.
My penis is lonely
So is my ring finger
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