do you think they make "congratulations unfit mother" greeting cards?
or abortion recommendation cards.
The look your mother gives you when she sees you masterbating on web cam is unlike any I've seen before, but this is a case where, I would say, ignorance is bliss.
ISS teacher has a tramp stamp.
Shotgun.
So basically he tried to get out of the car and crawl on the highway with the broken leg because he didn't want to go to the hospital. It was not a good time...then we got pizza though.
Lesbian sex in an alleyway drunk.
You were outside the bathroom the gay guy was puking in, screaming "IT GETS BETTER!" over and over again. Good message, poor execution.
Apparently I've been blackout drunk doing abstract algebra on the floor
Hold on - sidebar. My best friend just threw a 40 pack of condoms through my window.
A fair warning: I don't think a cop will let you off the hook just because your birthday is on New Year's Eve
he woke me up with all the stuff I had at his house in boxes i had to unwrap my own belongings and he said. Happy v-day its time to see ya day! Worst day ever
I need you there. I need someone to glance at when other people inevitably annoy me.
I tried to flirt with him by saying "catholics are cool" and he handed me a cup of water so i called him jesus and thanked him for the wine
Thank god I work in a lab. This pinkeye is out of control and my safety glasses are the only thing stopping me from digging at my eye with a pen
I managed to break 3 nails and loose my stockings, but I made 87 dollars at the strip club. I asked where I could find an application on the way out.
I don't want to go to sleep. I like partying with myself.
Randomize
