He asked if I was on the pill, apparently I just downed my glass of beer and winked at him...
His parents had a bottle of captain morgan on the table for me when I went for dinner. I feel accepted
Drinking wine in my childhood bed getting ready to go to sleep in order to wake up for my menial temp job. Thanks, college degree, I can handle the real world.
My relaxing drive may end up as a surprise bootycall in Pittsburgh. Don't try to stop me.
You are very nonchalant about the high probability of us having an orgy.
Eh, I'm ok with this, this can work. We're the best kind of the worst people.
I hope I bought a crossbow. Also I need to not drink that much
I remember nothing of last night, but I did manage to figure out which frats I went to by the trails of straw across campus.
this is getting really bad. i thought the chandelier in the dining room was one of those claws from the claw games in an arcade and i spent the past five minutes jumping left to right so the claw wouldn't grab me
Getting drunk before noon on a Tuesday. When did this become my life? Did you know that a six-pack of Smirnoff is 2 liters?
Called my ex last night, told her I wanted to bang like we use too, her fiance was in the car, I was on speaker phone. NO MORE TEQUILA!
Did she say Ok?
Will you be my therapist? I don't want to tell me secrets to a strange person and be judged all over again when you have already taken the time to do it. Oh and I will pay you with alcohol
I woke up to him "wax on, wax off"-ing my boobs. I just reminded myself that I love him and let it happen.
I made a booty call at 3:30 am on a Monday... I think I just became the ultimate female fuckboy. I don't know whether to be ashamed or get myself a trophy.
What happened last night? All I know is that I walked into class this morning and everyone was chanting my name.
I wish there were more things in this world as wonderful as string cheese
Surriously
Randomize