You're never going to guess who I just worked out next to..
Who?
Chris brown
No way... I bet he was intense
Are you kidding? He was prob training for round two
Every time I find out someone else from high school got pregnant accidentally, I want to declare victory over them.
so, just learned that EVERYONE heard pretty much everything last night. my roommates were surprised to learn you're a dirty talker.
I think my plan to not drink this week was just ruined by my mothers discovery of the chat function on facebook
We just watched planet earth in marine bio. And our prof told us that was all we were doing on 420
It was her first time with a girl so I put on my tegan and Sara playlist to really get the full experience.
now I know why they wanted me to come. apparently gay guys are stripper magnets
He brought a jar of pickles to the party. So now I've had beer, animal crackers, AND a pickle since noon.
He was so drunk he was throwing the bowling balls into other lanes on purpose. He still beat my high score thought.
Whiskey chased with ice cubes? Here's a big FUCK THAT to that
Look, sometimes you have to snapchat a topless photo of yourself in the middle of class just to prove you can. I can and I did. End of argument.
I think I pulled a muscle in my tongue.
sorry? thank you? I love you?
Text me later if you aren't dead and wanna have a drink later
This is the nicest bathroom I've ever been drunk in. The urinal is gold.
Don't try to butter me sideways
That is without a doubt the most Southern thing you have ever said.
Randomize
