thanks for being my friend even though im irresponsible with my vagina
I found the TV remote. It was in the washing machine along with the chicken wings you kept complaining to Domino's about that they 'never delivered'
he just asked me if he could show me what he wanted to do to me using his action figures. where do i find these freaks?
hey everyone... booty call? my house tonight. bring friends to fuck my friends.
he asked if i wanted their team name to be " Amandas angels" or " Fuk budies" either way an intermural softball team of all my hook ups from spring semester is just depressing. convenient but depressing
I thi k this dude I fcken showed up to the bar in a raisins shirts. I thought I was better than that. Fuckkkk.
Ok spinning in the opposite direction thatg the room was spinning was the worst advice ever
I'm using the house around the corner that my parents rent out to people as a means of getting sex. I just tell them I'm going for a walk and just invite my next hook up over
I never thought I'd say this, but I think I just saw the hottest pregnant chick alive.
I walked home with him, but I had to pee...so I did...as we walked. He was so drunk he didn't even notice. Good thing I was in a dress.
We played table tennis, but used tv remotes taped to our foreheads instead of paddles. Every time your opponent scored you took a shot. I'm the current champion as of last night.
Like what? And no, shrooms cannot be party favors.
have no fear, swaggie olivia is here to bring glorious gifts and horse dick to children
I don't need romance, I need cheese sticks
Is it weird I can only picture you in my heels naked?
Be proud; I'm a versatile boyfriend
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