How is your vagina???
Double booked
With your butt?
Totes, candlesticks and all
Yay!!
I'm fucking your sister right now.
You motherfucker
She's next.
i was texting myself key events from last night so i could remember this morning. looked at my phone, texted my mother instead. our numbers differ by 1 digit
You told the waitress last night "What tip bracket do I have to be in to see your boobs"
apparently he thought telling me 'the weasel wants to come out to play' would somehow convince me to go down on him
I have jerked off in every room in your house. *the more you know
They better compete for your attention. Dual to the fuck
I dont know, but the way you were flopping around and gurgling made me scared that you were actually drowning in the carpet.
She's the worst person, but the best naked person
Crappy Mother's Day to you! Those of us who don't have children fill the void with hot sex, sleeping in, more sex, leisurely suntanning, foreign travel, overseas sex, paying cash for sports cars, watching TV, having sex on the floor in front of TV porn, lounging around the house, or whatever the hell we want.
Anyways, he came over at 3:30 am and ate me out while I ate pizza on the counter
I was all, oh. I've had tattoos and broken a limb. Waxing my lady parts will be a cake walk. I was wrong.
Are you seriously getting this frustrated over a hand-job right now?
He's not put together enough to have that big of a dick
I really don't think my body can handle another night of drinking
Lol you talk like you have a choice
I am worried that I am gonna die before the weekend is over
Randomize
