yo I wanna see you, bring that beard of yours
I'm on that like soy sauce on rice
i make out with random ppl when i drink he shouldnt feel special
Well the bottom line is that I had to completely coat my testicles in Neosporin.
Thinking about fake proposing to my gf just so the middle aged women next to us will buy us drinks
You need a Jiminy Cricket, but for sexual decisions.
If life deals in absolutes, the in betweens are the most hairy.... Fortune cookie wisdom from a stoned Megan.
The cleaning lady even cleaned my bong. I'm scared to open my sex toy drawer and see if and how she organized it
So I put a beer on your bed and jumped on th3 other side of the bed like in the commercials. You my good sir, owe me a budweiser that your bed drank.
I'm just gonna start letting dudes eat it. American idol for my vagina
Sushi was just eaten off my naked body. I feel like I can die in peace now.
i'll talk to you in three hours when you've stopped foaming at the mouth and your eyes have rolled back into place
I'm literally in the bathroom for two minutes and I walk out to a random dude with his face in your tits
What'd I miss?
Erotic hypnosis and studded dog collars.
It's scary that my vibrator is a dangerous weapon. I want a new one.
Randomize
