Ok let's jusst not talk today bc then we'll just do dangerous things but I'll say hello
Just charged fat mistake $3 for a beer.
That doesn't help it make any more sense. Because now you've brought pinata condoms into this.
I GOT A VENDING MACHINE FOR OUR LIVING ROOM
She was wearing my robin hood hat from Halloween shouting "steal from the rich and give to the poor, mothafuckaaaaas." We are taking her everywhere.
the fact that i already established a hook up buddy for thanksgiving break is genius
In other news my cocaine dealer got arrested for heaving some kid out of a fourth story window.
Now I'm obligated to stay and cuddle with her because the condom broke. Fuck.
I sent you a snap of me in the bath, and you sent me a snap of a taco. An actual taco.
Side note, i did some manscaping and now my farts sound way different
I have vodka and 50 pizza rolls best spring break ever
I called you daddy and let you stick things in my butt, I am a damn 11.
Just once I'd like to go out and not have to tell you to put your pants back on.
Her blowjob technique? Picture someone attempting to drink a triple thick milkshake through a Capri Sun straw.
Yelled "don't taze me bro" as the police officer tazed me. Cross it off the list.
Randomize
