come over anyways, right now, right this second
it can be a super quick quicky, then you can go back to studying
wow, that sounds SO fun, please stop enticing me with premature ejaculation
I saw that some person on TFLN used a bag of wine as a pillow. I tried it last night. I forgot to close the spout. I woke up and thought my face had a period
I had a long pep-talk with my penis that ended in "I love you, I'll try harder and I'm sorry."
Do you know many girls there are in gay bars waiting for me to do coke off their tits? A lot.
is it sad that I can recall my outfits by who took them off?
There was blood everywhere. She was pretty good looking person though.
i feel sorry that you can never enjoy the feeling of shaved balls
I'm unshowered, and since I've seen this episode of say yes to the dress, I've decided to go to the store and get a frozen pizza at 10:20 am. I'm crushing life.
those kids just got delivered to the party by the pizza guy
He's going to find out eventually, but really what's he going to do? Cry about it and buy another fucking kitten??
how much do I hate his dog? was just googling to see if you can rent a hungry eagle for the weekend hate.
I woke up this morning fully clothed with a dart in my pocket
Edible... I FEEL CLOSER TO THE UNIVERSE AND I DEF TRAVELED IN TIME. I THINK I CAN READ MINDS NOW.
She keeps comparing me to her favorite dildo and I don’t know if I’m flattered or creeped out
OH GOD IT TASTES LIKE IT SMELLS
Randomize
