:( I'm sorry!!!
sexual favors sorry?
absolutely not
Lady next to me is getting american flags airburshed on her nails. god bless the ghetto.
He was putting purell on my boobs saying "they need to be clean for later." He hadn't had a drink all night
We were driving to the party as he was giving me key bumps.. That's what I call team work
Oh my God, I want him to live with his face in my vagina forever.
they call him Oral-B. enough said
He told me since I'm into organics I should know his meat is known locally for its quality and hes hand raised it since age 13.
I petted my head, told my hair it felt beautiful and needed to be let free. Then pulled out my pony tail. Cheers to weed. I lose.
The pigeons can smell the fear
Wtf
I'm eating those little wheels of cheese and watching storage wars, this is the opposite of sex.
I love that there are toys on the counter. Coffee, tea, wine bottles, gag ball, and handcuffs.
My kitchen gets me.
i gotta stop hooking up with people just to get to their dogs
i found 4 slices of pizza in my toaster, and a can of unopened soup in my blender.. wtf?
Literally.... Guy kissing himself in mirror in this hotel elevator
She said if you lived here it would be like the x rated version of 3's company
Randomize
