I'm laying in your front yard are you home
go do what you do best...puke behind churches
You do realize the lyrics aren't "hold me close TONY DANZA" right?
You can't be serious.
final count. 18 beers. 4 shots baileys. 2 shots vodka. 1 glass champagne. vomited in the yard after losing my phone in a field for 8 hours. Possibly played tag with myself
guys are only as good as the porn they watch
how can getting a pizza be this hard?
when you've been drinking 14 hours anythings impossible
when i got there he was on top of an air mattress in the middle of the pool with a bag of doritos and a 40 telling people he needed his space.
they would be such cute babies and they would grow up to have huge dicks. and that would make me proud as a mother
We're about to go to a party titled 'Night of 1000 Jello Shots".
by 11 am we'd already been drunk twice. how much lower can you go?
He was having a "party in the princess castle." At what point do I blindfold him and take him to AA?
You've never sent a girl a dick pic?
Call me old fashioned
I say I hate my boss but I find myself jerking off to him more and more with each passing day
Mom and dad should be so proud half of their children have gotten naked in the same local grocery store
Fuck your fuckin pumpkin spice. You and your subtle differences frighten and disgust me.
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