I assume you are not resopnding because you are having sex thus i give you a text message high five
Apparently I called 911 everytime Sean Kingston told me to
and he thought i came like four times in 2 mins. my leg just kept cramping up
drunk doesnt even begin to explain it. he said he was going to get playing cards from the lobby and came back 20 minutes later with a full set of sheets.
it will be an insanely irresponsible summer.the only things i plan on not doing are dying and getting pregnant.and even those are negotiable
Skip school. Seven hour blow job Plus Disney movies. Day of champions
You don't know commitment until you try and waterproof a non-waterproof vibrator
So, seriously. How does it feel to know that you're riding a cock that was in kindergarten when you were going to prom?
If I had 3 wishes one would for sure be a designated driver for life that gives hand jobs.
He's like a Lana del Rey song that took human form
just had sex in the back of my high school auditorium #dreamcumtrue
Ah Christ I think I've reached the single life mentality 100%. I just inquired a photographer about a photo shoot with my dog.
One a scale of one to hella drunk, how gracefully can I make it down those stairs
Man I just realized that my only life problem right now is that I have to convince myself not to fuck a 19-y-o
She was blowing air into green onions and tying knots in them to make "balloons"
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