WORST DINGLEBERRY EVER
we went back to her place to bone only to find her boyfriend having sex.. with MY girlfriend
When health care reform is passed, I'm throwing a kegger
You are the reason we need health care reform
He told me I took off my shirt, asked for the latino thunder and jumped on him. I want to question this but it sounds too much like me.
Banging bitches in a bar bathroom is not legit as it was in college, there are no fistpumps afterward only shame
he called AT&T to make sure that he had insurance before he threw his cell phone into the fountain.
porn star boner night. come get it.
i had to cut you off after you shoved a bunch of bottle caps in your mouth and pretended you had braces.
You installed a beer holder in the shower?! You're the best roommate ever!
... That's a shower caddy.
I believe this is a toe-mate-toe vs. toe-maut-toe situation.
Was so close to hoppin on it but then I realize it's not a dick and I needed to keep walking. Primal instincts.
We went to Olive Garden so high we didn't talk and managed to be awkward enough for the waiter to ask if it was our first date
Word my sister pulled through for me and brought vodka shooters for the plane. its about to be a sloppy 4 hours
took shots off of a myriad of fake boobs last night. It was glorious.
we got cupcakes after we fucked. gives a whole new meaning to sugar daddy
Straight boys are literally imbeciles. If Darwinism doesn’t get them female rage will.
Randomize
