i thought i deleted your number from my phone...Wtf
you dont need to remember merediths name haha. only jane
she just made a shot glass out of magazine paper. I love her.
I swallowed and made him pancakes in the morning. I feel almost as desperate as Jennifer Aniston at this point.
She got a tattoo in memory of her cat, my attratcion to her is no more.
literally every day that goes by where he doesn't talk to me makes me more determined to get him to have sex with me
I asked her if she wanted to make this a permanent exclusive thing instead of a fuck buddy thing, and she just looked at me like I'm an idiot.
That's because you are an idiot.
it was one of those movies netflix should have sent weed with
As far as figuring life out your talking to a guy that's alternating text messages between his baby mama and a drunk bitch I met tailgating. My best advice is don't worry about shit out of your control and always and I really mean ALWAYS wear a condom.
animal crackers drenched in taco bell mild sauce... surprisingly delightful
breakfast of champions
breakfast of stoners
i forgot to brush my teeth before I went over so i went to the bathroom and started eating his toothpaste. we're still in the early stages of fuckdom
I just realized I slept with a guy who used the pickup line "do you have a bandaid? I skinned my knee when I fell for you."
So as a result of a tragic manscaping accident I've had to shave all the hair off of my legs. The result is... not great
I just used a thesaurus to write a sext...
You stole my car to go to your boyfriends. Now your parents are fucking in the next room at top volume, and I have no way to escape..thought you should know that the amount of therapy I'll be needing for this is expensive.
You're the best friend ever.
Randomize
