I was 10 minutes late leaving for lunch today because I couldn't lose a boner. It is impossible to tuck it when your shirt is tucked in...gotta quit facebook stalking hot chicks at work
operation have a gay friend backfired
Ha Ha the cop that just pulled me over would like me to tell you hi!
I feel like "stop licking my face" isn't something that needs to be repeated twice
If you don't sing me a lullaby then I'll just take shots till I pass out
Thanks for the hickies, asshole. I make my living as a fitness instructor. It's gonna look reeeeeeal weird if I have to wear a scarf while teaching Zumba all week.
As I read your response saying I need a tan before I can become a go-go dancer, a girl cane up to work and gave me 10 coupons for 100 days of tanning for a dollar.
This is fate. You were destined to be a stripper.
You very well can't change your mind now. It would upset the natural flow of life.
Someone came into our hotel room and took our remote
What should I do?
Promise me you will not let me do anything sexual with or to a mini horse no matter how drunk we get. Ever.
Remember that girl from my stats. class that I ran into at the bar 2 weeks ago? She literally hasn't been to class once since I told her I sit behind her.
so she gave me back a bag of clothing, had some boxers in it...they werent mine.... well that sums up 5 years of my life
I appreciate that you take the time to fix your typos even while masturbating
I got my period during my acid trip. It was weird.
I'm pretty sure i doubled the number of dicks I've ever touched, last night.
I frew up on some kids lovely sidealk chald drawings..
Randomize