it's taking a lot of effort to be mature and not reply to her with like a video of bestiality porn
his mom gave me my lost underwear folded up along with the rest of my christmas present. tell me this cannot be happening.
Sometimes I seriously wonder if I could get away with vodka Sundays at work. Cuz this red bull feels naked.
And he probably thinks I'm in love with him but after three shots of Patron you love anything
We where late for the party because we spent the last hour staring at a towl becase we thought it was a raccoon
He made me write my name on his wall in crayon so he'd be able to remember it in the morning
We built a fire and had sex in the kiddie pool. Then he washed my hair
Strong work
do you remember in the middle of fleeing from the cops you stopped in the middle of the road to make out with quail man?
Anywho, an ostrich attacked me today. Fucking useless pieces of shit birds.
Just checked in with my friend who walked in on us. He thinks you two had a spiritual connection and he's bugging out
He was also rolling face on molly so his perception of divinity might be slightly off
I'm still mad from all the stupid shit he's done this week that even though I couldn't give two shits about Vday, I'm gonna throw an epic tantrum if he doesn't morph in to Nickolas Sparks for a day
Why did I not realize how important my fridge was till I was drunk. It keeps all my food cold its like my own cold box
Thank you, my gorgeous heroine, for being such a total life-saver by giving me rides, forcing me to eat, providing porous absorbant surfaces to bleed on, and everything else you do <3
Video on mandys page of you drinking upside down was finally put up...too bad all the comments were about me and him fighting in the background while he screamed "BLOW BIG BETSY!'
i have a serious question for you... Why I am i not wearing any pants?
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