I literally just watched a girl motorboat herself
Buying beer for freshmen. No matter what they ask for, I'm getting them Colt 45.
so i woke up in some guy's bed but then i realized i can atone for this tomorrow
I am the poster child for what not to do during sex. Soon they will be calling an undesired position after me
He was eating mac and cheese. Raw. Like as in he was eating the uncooked noodles then pouring the dry cheese in his mouth.
Do you know how hard it is to write about pediatric crohn's when we're trying to figure out the keg situation for graduation?
No she stopped screaming. Now she's eating popcorn. Off a plate. With a spoon.
You text him a porn site address and said GOODBYE ... I think he got the hint
where are you?
talk to ya later, gotta sled down these stairs real quick
I didn't mind you coming over, just I'm quite sure most booty calls don't involve a scavenger hunt...
He's attempting to seduce me with thanksgiving-themed sexual metaphors... It's working.
My sweat smells like Wild Turkey. I'm really feeling the holiday spirit.
I wiped my ass with some girl's sock, I would honestly admit if I hate Caitlin's sandwich.
woke up to my little sister's best-friend's boyfriend in my bed, but how's your saturday going?
Just used the pen i got in my signing ceremony to pack down my bowl. coach would be proud
Randomize
