why do i have 22 missed calls from someone who is literally saved in my phone as bumrape star??
My dog fell asleep in his puke last night. He's only 5 weeks old and has more in common with my friends than I do.
it's like i can feel the ghost of his dick still inside me
He refused my I'm sry gift of ANAL. That's how angry he was.
Someone shattered a urinal.
well as your friend its only fair to offer my cock for your services. Cause I care.
she's crying and begging for her chapstick and insisting on walking home...her every thursday ritual
Blow job bear ended up in my bed last night. She didn't live up to her costume.
Woke up to a break up text for a facebook relationship I didn't even know I was in... 2012 is going to be a good year
Pants-less sunday? Also I'm high and independence day is making me cry
im coming over
Im invoking the "no judgements" clause of our friendship.
My god, what have you done?
He yearns for your heart.
He needs to stop being a pussy about it.
Of the 4 nights I've gone downtown this week, I've been "piss in the parking lot" drunk 5 times
He turned down head in favor of a handjob. Not sure if he's crazy or i have magic hands
I got confused. The music was loud, porn was playing, people were grinding, there were hand jobs.
Randomize
