I want to touch your soul through your body...with my penis...
Mike i'm at church right now...
Been drinkin since 3, wearing a tutu, how could things go wrong
Truelife: I made out with my ex-boyfriend's girlfriend this weekend. Thank you Captain Morgan...
Was she wearing cherry chapstick??
No. Life's not always a fairytale.....
I figured that I'd start organizing the places ive given head. I'll add treehouse right after bandroom
it's my birthday, i should be around people i want to fuck
I want this pizza in and around my mouth forever..
It's like weed even makes my glasses better. Everything is so bright and clear and beautiful!
Also, just woke up in a Romney tank and sequin flag panties. Merica.
Just remembered when I first started going down on him he goes "ok now I feel a little better about the broncos losing"
Tequila Tuesday.. tonight is the night I defeat the liquor.
I have class at 8:30 and I am not bailing you out of the drunk tank again.
You've got until 8 and then I'm kicking down your door and pouring a beer down your ass via funnel
I responded like every reasonable adult would. With a gif
Never drinking before a 6am train again. Just threw up at boarder control and had to pretend it was cause I was pregnant and not cause I trashed.
You make Europe seem so glamorous.
He makes me want to cheat on my other 3 boyfriends..
How was I supposed to know the accent was fake before i slept with him
Randomize
