so that wasnt chicken after all
Stars make me really horny. Especially that shiny one its just staring at me.
Well whatever you do have, it sure worked on me.
A Penis?
Cool, so I just walked in on my grandfather checking his prostate in the kitchen.
We're trying to decide between cracker barrel an the ER
Dude cabbage spilt on the floor, and now danielles rolling it. Happy st party's day.
Note to self: semen does not count as food to take medicine with
It's just weird. It's like Big Bird dating Meg Griffin.
My night started to turn around the time I started calling her a "raggedy cunt".
Somehow she got that I meant it as a term of endearment.
I puked so hard this morning that I peed my pants. I'm a gem.
Please tell me how the stripper got back to Sarah's from the trailer park
her nickname was handjob. I knew what i was getting into.
Tonight I learned to never try to impress your ex by dancing on the stripper pole while drunk. That’s how you end up in the ER
i really didnt think i was that drunk last night but the txts from unknwn #s that say i like your lace panties are def telling me otherwise
You were painting for six hours and managed one four foot wall. "The Mellow Handyman" isn't a good business model.
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