good news, i'm not pregnant. bad news, i had sex with ***** last night and i think i'd rather be pregnant
I just want to hang out with her.
You're a liar. Why do I have to give you reasons you can't have sex with my mom? I hate you.
It was like a drunk episode of Dora the Explorer. In English.
you just used "cock block" and "youth group" in the same sentence. somethings wrong with you.
girl in the front row yawned. double jointed jaw. i know where i'll be sitting next class
I bought a zebra print bikini, I'm gonna be honest here- if he doesn't want to have sex with me in this, he's gay.
I think you'll appreciae more than anyone that I'm renting my parking spot out for a half gallon of vodka a month.
Change the recording on your voicemail. He found your number and my ass print on the car hood.
Thats like me asking what you think of antisocial polish guys with mysterious rashes
Who ever is in the stall next to me is crying and it sounds like they're doing massive amounts of blow too. Finals for your ass huh.
Is there a polite way to say "Sorry for your head injury but I still want to hook up"?
Dunno. My heart says "no", my brain says "maybe" and my dick says "YES YES FOR THE LOVE OF GOD YES!!"
They said you went back in for 30 minutes and were walking with your arms out like an eagle soaring
Do him. As soon as possible and as often as possible. That's what Oprah would say
Dude mama brought home the bacon, i got his HBO account i guess that makes up for his by par skills in bed.
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