Dear __, it'd be a lot easier to fuck if you ever responded. So I'm throwing in the white towel, since I no longer know what you want. Sincerely, ___
Discovered the coffee filter hasn't been changed in a while. I believe the mold has hypnotic properties. Would try it again, but coffee vomit is not pleasant.
I feel like we're taking advantage of the fact that our R.A has cerebal palsey.
Please don't tell me I was shouting "I'm bleeding from my vagina" in front of my ex-boyfriend and his new girlfriend.
Aaaaand I just watched him face plant in front of the taxi. This is why we don't invite him to margarita night.
Guys, I'm sleeping in the BOYNTON LAUNDRY ROOM. if you can, come let me out in the morning as I have no keys. I might be in the study room possibly. DON'T FORGET. I will be trapped
She tried to kill herself by taking a whole packet of panadol. I mean HELLO THAT'S ME EVERY SUNDAY MORNING.
got high to the hills theme song. FEEL THE RAIN ON YOUR SKIN. no regrets.
He was sleeping, but the way he was made him look like an adorable, fuzzy penis
Also- bikini mowing was a horrible idea. One truck just drove by 3 times, turning around at the end of the block each time. My tan may be better for it but my conscience has been raped.
I can not believe he edited a picture of our three way and made it his profile picture
I'm driving to his house to eat chicken and hopefully have an orgasm
I've turned into a small time drug dealer, now who's the real MVP.
So she said she could really go for a cheeseburger and I remembered I had one in my pocket. No idea where it came from.
I am eating croutons on my bathroom floor. Are you happy?!
Randomize
