i would give spencer pratt a bj just so i could bite his dick off
he'd just find a way to get more famous from being a eunich.
Ramen noodles and uncensored jerry springer episodes, what a nice life i have.
Sometimes when i'm at a cross roads in life, i think about what i would want my lifetime movie to show what i did
Her little brother walked in right as I was finishing and was like "uhhh hey there's a lunar eclipse outside"
then he asked me if i wanted to "handle his wingman"
Things got outta hand once she told me to water-board her with Patron.
TINY HANDS NOT FOR BUTTHOLES
This is going everywhere on the internet.
i wasn't gonna shower then i remembered i slept in my own piss
He said i got a new job lets blow this money he bought 4 bottles at the club he is now crying after seeing the reciept
Just face planted the stairs. Apparently Santa brought an extra step while I was at the bar... Fucking dick
If I shaved my pubic hair into a heart for valentine's day how much would you judge me?
we should start a freak-out-the-cashier-contest. I just bought JerseyShore Season2, red high heels, and nipple soothing pads
Anyway, all that to say that tiny penises are a hassle.
I may be a complete scumbag but even im not willing to spend a grand and sit on a plane for 24 hours just for shrooms and a blowjob
don’t ask me. i snorted coke off of a pregnancy test box last night. i obviously don’t make the best life choices.
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