don't you miss dr. quinn: medicine woman? i do.
I hope that the reason I've been psycho on him is that I'm pregnant and not just psycho.
The one wearing a viking helmet and holding a bottle of Smirnoff. She's laying on the floor of the tube singing "cant find my way home" . You can't miss her..
I'm going to tattoo a maze on my back for the next fucker that tries to blow early ....
Either I'm too drunk or she gave me a hand job to the rhythm of jingle bells.
He did leave his bud tall boy and 2 choco tacos, so not a total loss.
Dude, please tell me you know why there's a naked chick asleep outside my room.
No, and she still hasn't answered me...I get a whole series of text messages about Guatemalan anal bleaching but no fucking answer to my question.
I'm really proud of my unchallenged ability to convert boob guys into ass men
We probably shouldn't have humped each other in a stairwell for an hour. that was probably my bad
Listen, I booty called my boss last night from the company phone. I may need to brush up my resume.
WTF was I supposed to tell them? "hi mom and dad, this is some rando I met on the internet. please ignore the noises that will be coming from my bedroom for the next 60-90 minutes. kthxbye."
She always used to joke about becoming a stripper. WHO'S FUNNY NOW?!
Whenever a guy asks me why I like weird sex stuff, I just answer, "Catholic School".
she told me id be a great addition to their lesbian community and shes giving me sex eyes from across the room. come get me NOW
Randomize
