Stoned at DSW. SO MANY SHOES! THEY'RE FREAKING ME OUT.
That's kind of creepy but I guess since I'm wearing your dad's pants nothing is off limits anymore
is it really this hard to find a guy i can fuck and have a good time with who doesn't ask where things are going btwn us?
you sound like my dream girl
Is masturbating to pics of your ex on Facebook considered cheating?
You are proof that most things are best left unsaid.
i sold my breathalizer so i could buy weed
Sorry I had passed out by this time I think, with the chicken fingers ON my face in my bed, with all the lights on, and ketchup all over.
Dude he was a used car salesman for his friends' penises. I know I have something here that's right for you!
So the bartender from Applebees totally looks like he would take his clothes off for $40
I like how you possess the gift that turns normal guys into strippers
THIS ISN'T WORKING THIS IS THE DRUNK LEADING THE DRUNK
I need a burrito and a hug.
she has like 12 pairs of underwear people left at her house from the other night
We need large glitter to throw at people to signify our mystic nature
Fuck their feelings and their drinks they will get hit with sparkly confetti
Do you ever get so high you're like vibrating
you have 30 seconds to convince me not to grab this guy's crotch in front of his girlfriend
These girls next to us are doing shots called bath salts. Sadly this is the classiest bar I've been to since i moved to PA
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