The bar is so dead the tender gave us free shots for staying. They mixed 2pac and phil collins. That's worth at least three shots.
Well, for starters you dressed up in all Green and kept singing that song from "A Goofy Movie". Then you made us call you Powerline for the rest of the night...needless to say no, you didn't hook up with her
Well unless he sent his sperm via fedex, this baby isnt his
A letter to the campus apologizing for being sucha cunt with a picture of her head on it. All posted around campus.
Omg calling you in 10 to update you on who I peed on last night
So last night ended up making out with a girl going to jail on sunday...she wrote down her address so I can make conjugal visits...
Note to self. Don't order a $10 bottle of wine on a 40 min flight because it seems like a good deal.
God you're perfect.
I am. So drunk right now. Good work, Frontier.
YOU CHEATED ON ME WITH THE WOMAN THAT IS STAYING AT YOUR HOUSE. FORGIVE ME IF IM NOT THINKING YOUR A DEDICATED BOYFRIEND.
Woke up in the middle of my kitchen clutching a cheesy gordita crunch
Thinking about wearing all black to the bar tonight since I'll be attending my liver's funeral.
lets start a news segment called WHY IS LEOS CROTCH BURNING TODAY
Honestly I am too high to watch videos of you jerking off right now
I found your missing hash cookies. Fuck you and I'm sorry but there are only 2 left. I already had the munchies.
My boss and I ended up at the same strip club. We both got lap dances while talking about work.
I haven't even lived here for 24 hours yet, and I've already banged someone. My new hoe life is off to a great start.
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