And then a tiny penis fell out of my purse
strike ten. I need to stop drinkng
I found the perfect eye liner, it passed the blow job test, no smudging!!
and she is using the paper towels as a pillow... but you know what? i've done that too.. so u can really tell we are sisters.
I don't think eating half of a pickle out of my mouth counts as getting to know me
OH MY GOD DO YOU REMEMBER WISHBONE? DO YOU REMEMBER THAT LITTLE BITCH? WHAT'S THE STORY WISHBONE
No, I know her type. Tall, lanky, uses teeth when giving head, and runs like a giraffe. Don't do it man..
His penis is small and he doesnt like Harry Potter. HE HAS NO REDEEMING QUALITIES WHAT AM I EVEN DOING HERE
Just watched my roommate stuff a sandwich in his pocket because we're out of paper plates.
We are sitting here staring into each others eyes, mutually rubbing forks up and down our respective noses. High as balls doesn't even begin to cover it.
Mom chose Thanksgiving to tell me the reason I am here is because she was too tired to give my dad a BJ and too drunk to make him pull out.
Dad just asked me to breathalyze grandma
We were going to play manhunt in a strip club, calling it mancunt.
Dude, tumbleweeds have been rolling through my bed lately. This is my dryest dry spell since I was married.
Lol it's kinda hilarious. I left missing one glass... guage. I feel like Cinderella... but less classy.
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