I need like a "Cookong High for Idiots" book. Or a car.
names aren't important. just tell him all you want is a lil make out sesh and keep it moving.
she likes to give head while listening to britney spears, getting blown by a girl with headphones on is a nice level of separation
he asked me if i wanted "a hit" off his inhaler. its definitely time for a new roommate
Plus apparently whenever one of her friends loses their virginity they get a party with a funfetti cake which I found funny
My brother just put in eyedrops to talk to my mom on the phone
Yeah I should probably start planning our first conversation instead of our first child.
Trevor is horny so he just called me to tell me all the things that he would like to do with his future wife. That's a new one.
YOU WOULD BE SEEING ME. IN MY KITCHEN. BENDING OVER MY OVEN. MAKING YOU CAKE.
Wait, that's an option?
I still have beer shits from last weekend. Dying from dysentary is a real threat at this point.
I probably won't go. Last time I got drunk with those guys I just started demanding people let me touch their beards.Then I mocked everyone who didn't have facial hair.
I'm gonna have to kick a girl scouts ass...
Being on probation is a nice change of pace. It's refreshing to wake up and know what I did last night.
But Keith is doing MDMA for New Years and he's 39.
Keith has a beautiful 20 year old girlfriend, a good job and a cute puppy. We can't all be Keith.
But I want to be Keith.
Turns out I made out with a woman dressed as a unicorn here 10 years ago
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