How many times do you have to sleep with a guy before you get him to kiss you???
just broke no shave november. hello backed up drain december.
I just hotboxed my laundry basket.
So his "youporn" cam totally caught me stealing quesadilla leftovers.
sudden memory flashback: you and i having sex on the bed, erin sitting naked in your desk chair drinking whiskey straight from the bottle while harassing you for your computer password to play some "mood music." high five. go us.
There's cake. And donuts. And strippers. It's like 5 year old me and 20 year old me are throwing a party together...
Just in case you were wondering I sent you a text at 4:37 in the morning because I woke up on the side of the highway at that time
sick fucks of a feather flock together
I think he's having people over to watch him get way too drunk again
Yes ma'am.Im also looking at my collection of penis pictures in my email playing "who;s penis is that"?
Then years and years after that I will send you a picture of my warped vagina from all the kids that I had.
My penis is saying yes, several less important organs are saying noo...
Also I think I drunkenly signed up to be an uber driver or something because they keep emailing me to fill out a background check
May I make reservations with your penis for this evening?
I guarantee you he will only fuck with old bitches from now on
Randomize
