lets hang out tonight and do stupid stuff.
Dating you for 6 months was stupid enough. But thanks.
im having a hard time not telling ppl about ur bathroom story
She didn't know my name but she knew I was Canadian so she just called me Canada. It sounded like the national anthem when we were fucking.
My mom just asked me if I was gay in front of my gf
I went to a bar in my pajamas last night. I'll be there again tonight in a wolf costume.
You were in subway at 3am showing everyone your tan lines
Yeah, he has a kid now! Shit... You know you're all grown up when the people you used to have threesomes with become parents
that's just what you get for learning massage techniques from gay porn
I just had a sexting conversation using medieval jargon. I think he is a fine suitor.
I'm just concerned as to why his penis is two different colors.
You wear a dinosaur suit one time and everyone thinks you're a furry. Fucking hell, man.
That's when I realized I was probably naked in the wrong bed
I would steal a car if I knew it had wheat thins in it
is it necessary to steal the whole car?
It was beautiful and filled the audience with hope for the future. :3 I wish I could speak more but sleep werk nighty
I asked how you were doing?
I gave Sophia a glitter bomb for Christmas. And before you ask is because she pooped in my cat litter box and then drank all my liquor and didn't pay me back and refuses to acknowledge that she had any wrongdoing. So she gets to clean up glitter for the next 10 years.
Randomize