Afterall, it is the real San Francisco treat
u know ur in oregon when the cop tells u to keep the beer cans he made u pour out so u can recycle them
theres a middle aged lesbian couple holding hands on the bus and a 17 or 18 year old christian girl visibly staring freaked out and audibly praying about it
oddly enough my penis is pretty tan. the part of my body that gets the least amount of sunlight is tanner than most of the rest of my body.
I think its part of male evolution. Pretty soon they'll have diamonds on them and taste like chocolate.
I'm drinking reisling in a paper cup by myself in the garage.
she just announced that once she was paid to deep throat a light saber with a mint flavored condom on it. i'm speechless.
I feel bad for the cleaning lady. All you can smell is latex and Jaegermeister
Going through my purse trying to find money for this cab but all I keep pulling out if chicken from my burrito o ate an hour ago. Help?
Successfully masturbated while balancing on an exercise ball. my greatest accomplishment?
Probably
drunk in woodshop so don't even say "I SAWWW THIS COMING." I know you're thinking it.
He kept sending me videos of his dogs while I was trying to masturbate. At what point does getting vagina-block apply?
I'm sorry I peed on myself in front of your boy toy. You should tell him I'm usually not that trashy. It was nice meeting him tho..
Well my normal tinder strategy of "Will I have sex with her when I'm sober" has been paying off
I may be asexual, but I owe you a solid from yesterday. I am a man of my word.
the last thing i heard from her was "i wanna get fucked by a stranger" and i haven't seen her since
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