I don't understand why some guys want to have a huge conversation while standing at the urinal with cock in hand...
told my boyfriend i was a virgin so he wouldnt feel bad since he is. now hes asking why his dick is so itchy. should i tell him why?
i don't see why you should, it's not like you told the other guys with the itchy dicks.
Just got kicked in the balls by a girl in tap shoes. Fuck EVERYTHING
So dude, she and I just got done having the most amazing sex, and then she rolled over and said that "lets make some tacos" and proceeded to the kitchen... naked... I'm buying the ring tomorrow
Even the French judge on the olympics would give that a 10
Slugs feel like vagina... thought you would want to know
...and all my boxers are outside in the snow because????
When I like her vacation photos, it really means "Im sleeping with your boyfriend." wonder if she will make the connection.
You were like pukeahontas last night, you tried to tell us you were okay, then you puked in the garden.
He had to stop fucking her halfway through to do a shit. When he returned she was still waiting for him. The joys of MDMA
I feel like somebody ate me, then shit me into my bed.
Looked for my lighter in the console and found more tampons. Seriously. You're like a squirrel prepping for a hard winter. A menstruating squirrel.
You are free to stop by. I promise to keep my penis in my leather pants
Went on a blind date. Afterwards I ripped my pants off and said "it's game time". He was into it.
I'm pretty sure I just came a kidney stone..
It wasn't my fault.
You let her suck your neck. Yes it was your fault.
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