he somehow instantly knew i was from vermont.
it probably had something to do with chasing your soco with maply syrup.
The bottle I was drinking out of splintered on the bottom, there was glass in my hand, I pulled it out with my teeth... Not the best night for Drunk Kevin
There is a guy, stoned out of his mind, only wearing slippers and a bathrobe in the library.
apparently i saved myself a memo last night titled "cake" and all it says is "i love it so much"
Carry on my wayward bro, there'll be beer when you get low. lay your neon tank to rest, dont you rage no more.
You force fed me pizza in bed last night. That was fun
I'm so hungover it hurts to blink.. oh sweet merciful Christ what have I done
I just said "okay we have 20 minutes to get each other off, ready... Set... Go!" and he picked me up and threw me on the bed. I almost came just from that.
View of Vancouver Bay is obscured though the greasy hand prints from fucking against the window. Tip maid well.
I also love my swipe to text changed a singular vagina to a plural vaginas. like my phone somehow knows I secretly want 2 vaginas
So his roommate walked in on us, went upstairs to tell her bf she has found a new use for the rafters & they must try it.
Executive order 941: BRING ME THE FINEST PANCAKES!
You have got to stop watching the West Wing before going out.
WHERE THE FUCK AM I? AND WHO PUT DUCK TAPE ON MY NIPPLES! MY NIPPLES!!!!!!
Wait til you see what we did to Dave. Hairy bastard will never be the same
i'm not sure you can trust me in a car with 20 dozen donuts
You where banging on the wall asking us where we hid the door...you then crawled under the deck thinking you'd be safe. I told you to eat the nachos before the party...I told you.....
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