All I know is that if italians start TIME TRAVELLING were all in a lot of trouble paizon
I'm texring you during a blow job. She thinks I'm looking shit up. Fml. Ftw.
May i just say it is extremely difficult to pee in a cape
turns out the website for Dick's Sporting goods is not "dicks.com". It was a win either way.
we just watched the ball drop on the spanish channel. best mistake of my life.
Attempting to teach the cat how to shake. I need a job.
It mathmatically balances. Less pants + more shirt = fully clothed. see? Not a whore!
soo...what's the appropriate way to ask to come over and take your S&M lingerie out of your ex's apartment? big weekend planned, kinda need it.
I asked what you thought of her and you replied not the biggest I have had
this dude, we had a connection. he kept smiling at me. it's like he knew i was gonna facebook stalk the fuck out of him
I think I just did my first walk of shame. He sent me home with a watermelon from his farm. Southern one night stands.
I fucked her ex bc she fucked mine but now we're cool and I'm watching her dog this weekend
My credit card got frozen due to suspicious activity. "Let's go over your recent transaction history... it looks like these are all at bars." BITCH, DON'T JUDGE MY MONDAY NIGHTS.
Are those your contacts stuck to the mirror?!
Yeah. Drunk me tried to put my contacts on the mirror where my eyes were.
He’s older
Like “has a job and pays his bills” older or “still watches porn on DVD because he can’t figure out the Internet” older?
Randomize
