I think I kinda wanna bone that ginger from Harry Potter.
You literally just made my flesh crawl.
Played the LOTR drinking game last night. Ended up in boxers running thru the lot at ross's place screaming "for frodo"
you thought your tounge was "malfunctioning" because every time u spoke it wouldnt sit still.
So, right as I'm cumming, I pull out and go "PYEW PYEW" like Star Wars lasers. Best part is, I missed her completely.
My mom just said we needed to put weed into our earthquake kit.
HELP A SISTER OUT. AND KEEP YOUR TONGUE OUT OF THE HUMMUS.
TOO HIGH TO FIGURE THIS SHIT OUT
Guess who just sucked off 1/5 of one direction?
Our DD has become famous. Strippers are asking to be handcuffed to him.
It's amazing where one well timed dick pic can get you in life.
It's cool dude. The dank is in the form of premade smores with honey grahm crackers, marshmallow cream and 420 brand choc. bars. NV weed laws have nothing on me.
I planned to shave today but it's Friday the 13th I might cut something
No i dont need a babysitter i have my cats. Cats can dial 911 ya know
A relationship is waiting for him to fall asleep so you can cum (finally!) while watching porn
I was taking this cougar home in the middle of the night I walked across the hall all naked to take a piss and ran into to some chick from highschool she said no way you are fucking my mom ran into her moms room and started yelling at her
I hate being the first one to text him all the time...I feel like Iook desperate to get laid when the reality is that im just really horny and he has a/c...
Randomize
