maybe we dont have boyfriends because we dont have tans
I think the only thing that impresses me are nice penises...and Jesus. Jesus would impress me. Especially if he walked on water again.
Riding home in a carseat. Worst. Night. Ever.
"Tonight I'm turning swine flu into an std" this might be how zombies come about. Peace civilization.
No, "because my penis told me to" is not an acceptable answer to that question
and you will have a crown and it will be made of penises and all will bow before you and your glorious penis crown
congratulations to me i think I am on the road to legitimate alcoholism
cool. same. I'm in class drinking
NOT OKAY
sorry for partying
THATS NOT PARTYING THATS DRINKING IN CLASS
You called me at 4am shouting drunk shit about Poland and asking me to 'come out and play.' Where the fuck were you?
Poland
I made a list on my phone of places I want to fuck, it's right under my list of groceries I'm getting a little too used to regular sex but dude monogamy is the shit
Let's be honest. I make up for my well below average sized penis with a great personality and a possibly successful future
I hope you gays don't get too crazy after DOMA. Gay divorces aren't any better than straight ones.
I "liked" his changed relationship status just to show him I'm ok with the fact he found someone not as pretty as me
Trust me, dating 38 and 20 year old dudes at the same time is the best. Money plus all of the sex. Finally figured out this relationship thing.
I'm just trying to find the strength to put my bra back on and come inside
It was just a hint of nipple. I kept it classy!
Do you even hear yourself?
Randomize
