Hey babe, chan wants you to stop texting her about the size of TJ's dick. please.
You asked me to be the big spoon, when you passed out on the stairs
Correct me if I'm wrong here... but did we serenade each others breasts to "winds of change" last night?
You told him you loved him!?
I mean if he translated "Zi luve ku" as that then yes.
I made out with a bride-to-be last night at the bar. Jesus died for our sins right?
I'm not worried. All I have to do is not be the drunkest painter at 8:00. Golden.
You looked at me, said I was a nice guy. Then you drunkenly climbed on top of me and said you liked me and wanted me.
I'm warming McDonald's pies on my heater cause I'm too high for the microwave.
I can not believe he edited a picture of our three way and made it his profile picture
A boy just offered to come over and help me clean my house. I hope you are more successful than he will be tonight.
It's something you'd find in the room outside of Ben Carson's sex dungeon
it's the international house of making me almost fucking shit myself
You passed out in my backseat like a legitimate infant. A really drunk, really horny infant
Im four hours late for work AND i pissed my bed
woke up with 4 bruises, 2 hickies and a bad case of rug burn. texans are dangerous.
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