I didn't have a rubber, but my dick had a date with a clorox wipe after we finished. I think I'm in the clear.
we just fucked in the mcds parking lot
wasnt he a virgin
yes we got celebratory milkshakes after
hahahahaha your sister just walked down from the guest house with a stain on the front of her shirt and "owned" written in blue sharpie on her forehead. i dont think she knows what happened last night either.
Way too hungover to be taking this many family pictures
Ok, so for future reference, in Rome, "piano bar" means "brothel".
He's throwing up in my bed and I'm not even getting fucked for this
I'm gonna go out in a limb and say living out middle school fantasies is never a good idea
Let's play a little game of "Last Night Never Happened"
I WALKED myself out of breath. And I'm lost I'm a Tim Hortons parking lot. That's how hungover I am.
you ate the make a wish sign. Like actually chewed on it. It was our solution to going outside when the cops were there
How do I feel about a girl who has a g string tattooed on
We were high as balls fucking in the back seat when we saw the blue lights. He's like, "I got this" and walked over butt ass naked and goes, "Sorry dude, we're just banging" and the cop apologized for disturbing us and drove off.
She kissed me, then said "mmm your face tastes like it needs my pussy on it."
U dont jog and buy condoms n bulk
....even the bartender was embarrassed for her
Randomize
