guess who came home with a hottie last night
Def drugged
Where is the hickey?
he just texted me two pictures of his dick. i feel i should rethink whatever vibe im obviously giving out
so is it as big as he says?
he put a tube of toothpaste next to it as a reference. it looks legit
This is why you don't make out with cougars at a bar... I got a linkedin request from her, wtf?
finally stumbled home. 4am. made it to the bathroom and threw up. the cat came in,s aw me, looked at the vom in disgust, and then threw up too. its nice to have such sympathetic pets.
i'm pretty sure the only people calling it "sexting" are ones who don't actually do it
Bad news. Pictures just stimulated my memory and i just realized the stripper I hooked up with this weekend tasted like pizza.
I never thought I'd say this but my vagina is taking a serious break for awhile
I think I'm in love. He's everything I ever wanted for myself, just with a lot more drugs.
I was talking about you wanting my dick, but that works too
How do we have all these hot friends who we never do body shots off of
My tinder date wouldn't stop talking about the Star Wars movie trailer long enough to fuck me. HOW IS THIS MY LIFE?!?
So anyways, we returned the toilet paper and decided to use the money for taco bell and slurpees instead...
i came so much i feel like i were to try again, only dust would come out. and maybe glitter
Where are you guys?
Drunk
Randomize
