I just got a rly sharp new razor and was shaving down there...
and?
RIP clitoris
Is it gay to rub my penis between my butt cheeks and pretend that they're tits?
Wow! You need to get laid.
official worst smell ever. a used condom that has gone through the dryer.
I feel like Tiger Woods should send Jesse James a gift basket or something...
chatroulette drinking game turned into a foursome.
Am I texting you while being used as a stripper pole by two half-naked women? hint: I am.
We were in the shower and he sat down an wouldn't do anything. I'm so glad he manscapes. It made washing his balls less awkward.
Just so you know, this text is a buffer between the two guys I'm sexting. Can't get that shit messed up.
I'm just going to text him the word sex repeatedly until he comes over.
Did it work?
Duh, it only took 27 texts and 15 minutes and he was at my front door.
she's unstoppable after she starts doing shots and yelling NANNER
HOLY FUCK COMFIEST CHAIR EVER
I just want dates and sex but the option to have that with whoever whenever I want
I'm going to crush up my last 7 Percocets into a fine powder and toss my popcorn in it.
I woke up hugging a box of cheerios that had "wonder woman" written in sharpie on it. So much for a sober night.
Getting a blow job while breaking up with my gf helps cope with the pain... Kinda weird her best friend is giving me the BJ
Randomize
