Having a random hookup so left but love u
Swine flu. Run for my life!
Just found a glow stick inside of my vagina..
With the amount of traffic your vagina gets, it was only a matter of time before someone threw a rave there.
she is graduated, working for the school, and puking in the bathroom of a frat house. she wants brush her hair so she doesnt "look trashy". im in love.
you were mass sexting so we took your phone away
I'm calling into work tomorrow for day drinking and kitten shopping. Totally legitimate.
Every girl my sister has brought home from college I've had sex with, check and mate motherfucker
I cnant read. Cheetos goen. Help. Grt Cheetos.
Well, remember that night we took shrooms at graces an had to leave immediately to go home and hold each other on the futon and sob for four hours? That bad...
Dude, I'm pretty sure I slept with my TA's girlfriend
Sorry about waking up naked in your bed this morning.
If blow jobs were a super power she'd be in the Justice League.
he threw an umbrella that he ripped out of the table at the fence like he was harpooning a whale while the owner of the bar was outside then tried to blame it on an old man...
Sooo, did you delete me cause I said I wouldn't babysit you while you did shrooms? You're a grown man.
whered you go
woke up in a ditch, shat infront of a little league game, slept in her stairway...i need to come here more often
Randomize
