I don't know what's more sad having a rewards account at a liquor store or already racking up 273 dollar points since january
FYI don't ever, ever get a lap dance from a stripper who says " she's having a bad day " at a bachelor party.
So last week was the 4th time a girl cried after sex. I'm seriously doing something wrong
i must of done something right to please the booty call gods. . . maybe fucking that fat chick?
He gets creativity points for the hot sauce. But it may be awhile until my nipples forgive him
2 things. 1. I just gave her a 6 hour long marathon fucking for America. 2. Thought of a new invention halfway through, and it's flawless.
I love being Chipotle's first beer sale of the morning.
COME GET ME FR THE HOSPIGAL'!!!!!
These welts and bruises from letting gay boys whip my thighs last night are a clear indication i should lay off the tequila.
I achieved maximum drunk last night. It was pretty extreme. Woke up on a couch, outside, in a suit
I wrote myself a letter, like I think drunk me wants to be pen pals or something
I do remember that in my dream I wasn't impressed with his dick.
So my POF profile is full of Archer references. Only guys who get them will be getting any response to their messages.
She's takin more dicks this month than I have in my life by the sounds of it
While he was fucking me, he just stopped and said, "Mike says Hi." Then proceeded to fuck me.
What did you do?
What do you say to that!? But, when I came, I screamed out my full name.
Randomize
