you always know who the new freshman are on fb because theyre always wearing prom dresses
He just said "Chunky" very loudly in his sleep.
He came in my eye, I lost my earring and all of his friends saw me topless. Happy New Year to you as well.
3 guesses about who had to still-drunkenly facilitate a fire drill at 2:40am because freshmen can't handle microwave popcorn.
If you have a glass table... Put it up. I don't wanna hurt myself again, I just got my stitches out...
Someone asked me why we were having sex on the porch last night. All I remember is him saying he wanted the recruits to see. This has got to stop.
Fell twice in five points. on my face. literally during a cross walk. The cars just went around me. 21st birthday memories right there
Girl it's 3:30 get your life together and come enjoy a bowl, some coffee and a brownie with me
Sorry, I was trapped in a small closet behind a washer. What's up?
No lie. I was hooking up with a former football player at UT and mid-hookup I yelled "I'M FRATERNIZING WITH THE ENEMY"
We had sex on a lawn chair while fireworks were going off last night. It was unavoidable that I got mosquito bites all over my ass
I really have to stop going to the movies high. Spending $10 to not know what the fuck is going on is starting to get pricey.
I need to wear something that says I would have sex with you but I'm not going to
pizza hut and my weed lady just showed up at the same time. I feel 22 again.
I'm not gonna ask the guy I've fucked like 3 times if he is insecure about his eyebrows.
Randomize
