Nipple clamps can be ambiguous
Is it sad that the only reason I haven't lapsed into depression is that I'm prettier than her?
Nah, we all need something.
THAT'LL be a good time.
and i don't know why my phone always capitalizes that word.
Wow my backseat really seemed a lot bigger when we were 16
He was so drunk that he tried to backflip off a baby chair.. How do you think that ended?
the EMT asked how you broke your nose and you said, "you know, the usual wear and tear."
You were rubbing your foot on one of your legs and kept saying, "My sock feels like a waterslide!"
You went around chanting "dinosaur period" and drinking tomato soup from the can.
Just made macaroni burritos. Fukkin awesome. We'll have to try this when I'm sober.,!
i looked down and was like "oh shit thats blood" then it was like "shit, thats not my blood." then it was like whos blood is this??
All I could think about while he was going down on me was that his moustache reminded me that I want to try something new with my pubic hair.
He passed out in the car on the way to the party. Seabiscuit tripped before the race even started....Lil bitch....
'TWAS BUT A GLORIOUS SIGHT. BITCHES.
You claimed that someone else had vomited underneath you/on your hand
you were very insulted that we didn’t believe you that someone else vommed
its not much but to go through all that to ask for half a balls worth of money was so stressful
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