He's a collector of sorts
Any cool stuff?
You should see the collection of booggers in the carpet next to his desk
you made cement angels. it was a great sight.
He tried to blame not having a condom on the economy.
We woke up in an inflatable kiddie pool full of both empty and full beer cans. In the middle of his dad's office. Oh, and we were locked in. Nobody remembers.
I swear this girl is like a Cross between Danny Devito and Anne Heche....the Lesbian Years.
He somehow managed to bang-mail me last night. I woke up this morning to a voicemail from 1:54 a.m. of moaning and screaming. I now know how talented he is and how annoying I am to have sex with.
my heaven will be filled with hot naked men covered in chick-fil-a sauce and me wearing a bib
Hey. Me and my buddy are drunk. you wanna give us tattoos of the hawaiian punch guy we shall pay very well. Seriously dude. no bull shit.
Just threw up in front of the Boy Scouts on my base. Welcome to the Navy kids.
And the view of you in reverse cowgirl is arguably the most spectacular view ever... And I've seen the Eiffle tower, the colosseum, mountains of Hawaii, Michaelangelo's David, and the Mona Goddamn Lisa. Just saying.
I woke up in a chipotle parking lot with an industrial sized box of condoms and a bag of dounut holes. I need Jesus
Did I try to sell your body for chicken tenders last night?
Is it weird that sometimes I like to have sex for the health benefits and workout more than the pleasure
I got her number but I don't think I'll be able to smash, I was pretending to be British AND I forgot her name
Just a typical Friday. Dinner, drinks, doing lines with a member of Congress
Randomize
