I have to get up uber early tomorrow. Which is why I started drinking early today
So she started giving everyone lap dances, and i was like "i think i like this chick"
Your favorite bartender is back from prision
her name was charlotte except you kept calling her chatroulette and yelling at her to show you her boobs
just overheard a conversation that ended in "and that's what I learned in France" How could that not have been about sex
I feel like after all he sees, the dog needs to get baptized.
Coming out of the blackout mid beej was nice. Seeing her face was not.
We just ended up getting drunk and doing field sobriety tests on each for practice... No one remembers who passed.
Is it mean to convince my old booty call she used me for sex so I can bang her again before I leave for Denver?
Was I holding a cat when you saw me? Because that was the height of that party for me.
I truly just stopped puking in my 730 am calculus class, looked up, corrected my professor, then resumed puking my eyes out. He was both impressed and disgusted.
high moment I think I just reached personal nirvana
All right, sex is off the menu for you. Now you just get friendship. So I can spend marginally less time being annoyed by you.
I noticed it at one point and thought do I really wanna bang the guy with the phone holster .....of course I do
Dude if I had a dollar for everytime she asked me to do weird shit with her when we were fucking I'd have like 4$
Randomize
