Have you finally orgasmed yet?
the the hell do you 'accidentaily" jizz on a shirt thats folded in a drawer?
I came back to the apartment and he was waiting for me, covered in mustard.
needless to say I left
I'm cheating on the girl I'm cheating on my girlfriend with
I've eaten ice cream, mentos, an extreme gulp and swedish fish today. i feel like diabetes. the actual disease not a person with it.
then she came back into the room with a neckbrace on. i thought she was getting ready for the pounding of a lifetime.
Wow, So this kid just walked into class, yak'd on his lab partner then runs out. Class is now cancelled. I gotta find this kid and Thank him.
She just told me she had a double jointed jaw and winked at me while eating her bananna. That's not possible right?
there is absolutely nothing wrong with two grown men staying up all night blowing lines drinking white wine and playing call of duty. don't judge me
Don't do shots out of Tostitos scoops.
I mean, he's 40, foreign, artsy but with substance abuse problems and estranged children. How is he not my type?
It was extremely weird and uncomfortable mid blow job she looks up and says " tell me Simon Cowell makes your dick hard"
I am the oldest one here and I STILL feel like I need an adult. help.
I don't think Buddha would recommend a sexscpade across Mexico
I would go disguised as someone he didn't have premature ejaculative sex with but I don't know if I could stay in character.
Randomize
