he got his own cum in his own eye. TWICE. how do you make that mistake again?
What's your middle initial? I need it for the census. I put us down as "unmarried partners."
Oh my god... you're gay. Ps, its A.
No no. According to the 2010 US Census, we're gay.
I'll be honest, not actually surprised to find half a Big Mac box and bits of broken security glass by the sofa.
He fucked volume into my hair. It was amazing.
the party has pretty much ended, it's just 20ish of us jumping and grinding to music from some guy's phone in the corner.
Oh my God, that is a gorgeous man. And I wasn't even gay until five minutes ago.
I might not remember all of last night but I clearly remember the part where I humped the mailbox.
He stopped responding after the animal pictures... I do this EVERY TIME.
He said the first movie he ever jerked off to was Titanic because he knew "they were totally doing it in that car."
I'm turning twenty & the only honorable way to exit my teens is by slapping the fuck outta the bag. You better be in.
someone stole all your weed so you told us you were planning each of our deaths
It was a frighteningly large penis to say the least
I'm gonna try and get through this weekend sober, which is gonna be tough especially since I've already started drinking.
The awkward moment when you're leaving the most attractive guy you've ever been with and you're trying not to shit on yourself. Fucking welcome to my life
You were arrested in a tiara again... maybe you shouldn’t wear one.
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