You say "arrested with two drunk girls" like it's a bad thing....
is not sure whether or not everyone at the club last night calling me a-easy is a good thing?
I don't even have to turn the heat on in my car. Just fart the whole way home.
Heated debate on which is worse. Pissing your pants or puking all over yourself
I can get head just about anywhere nowadays so that's not much of an incentive, coffee on the other hand...
turkey basters and jungle juice, is that really the whole shopping list for new year's?
and I'm sitting five inches from the tv scrunched up in a ball watching doug. It's like I'm five again...except I'm more stoned than the dude who created this show
We where late for the party because we spent the last hour staring at a towl becase we thought it was a raccoon
He always tells me he misses my clit. I feel like I should make a drinking game out of it
she was braiding my hair and singing forever young while she vommed everywhere at the same time. Talent.
Hot dogs and hydrocodine is NOT the combo of champions
I don't know if we can compare high school reunions anymore. The keg stands started before 7.
I feel worse lying to the guy I hooked up with than I actually do for cheating on my bf
just had an acid flashback in my therapist's office. i am a walking stereotype
Why are you hurting?
Tried to drink all the beer in Nashville last night....failed.
Randomize