I just got back to Nicks and I shoul dnot have drank this much when I have to work at 7AM!!!!!
I've come to the conclusion that if I was an old man, I would perve around in short gym shorts for kicks.
I swear she didn't look like that last week.
I hate seeing commercials about babies when i'm high
Yeah, I don't like babies at all
i just shoved 27 marshmallows in my mouth
well thats a nice change of pace from what you normally put in your mouth
soo apparently i was out of money so i stayed in the bathroom for an hour-ish passing out paper towels for money..needless to say i got kicked out
just learned how to wash a penis. thank you nursing school for getting me the most action i've had in months.
Not even the dog will look at me anymore.
He said I did a backflip off the thing on the doorframe and busted my ass. I'd give anything to remember
There's a really old guy here with a really young girl. I'm guessing he has to make choo choo train noises to get his dick in her mouth.
I recommend you throw your keys as far as you can in one direction, your phone as far as you can in the opposite direction, and hold on.
thanks for not telling him i named my trumpet after his dick
She had a glow in the dark pastie on her forehead the last time I saw her. That should help you find her.
The twitch Bob Ross stream is the happiest little hangover cure ever.
My New Year's resolution is to chill out on the group sex. At least with my friends anyway.
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