Do I give off a "I have a sex tape" vibe???
Make me a promise>>> if you ever see the brats from that tv show NYC Prep walking around, you will trip them, and you wil throw drinks on them
Where??
Against the wall. In corner. Only gave him head though don't worry
Stuck behind a lady in her 70's purchasing a plastic handle of vodka and nothing else. She is writing a check. Hello future.
I just woke up at my desk with "To Whommmmmmmmm" typed on a letter. I have no memory of waking up, getting dressed or driving in.
His foreplay reminded me too much of breastfeeding.
i think he just broke into a bike shop his last text said something about hiding in some tree
Seriously, I woke you up with tacos, I think I deserve the best girlfriend ever award
I'm seriously considering refraining from drinking on school nights.
I like how you say that with 4 school days left of the school year..
I cried over the lack of milkshakes I've consumed in the last month
let’s be honest I’d fucking Irish step dance on your grave, asshole
You brought a jar of mayonnaise to bed. It doesn't get any worse than that.
She helped me out of the car and i face planted into the snow.....and just stayed there and took like a 30 min nap.
I'm not into beards but apparently my vagina is.
I feel slightly un-patriotic right now... I just got cock blocked by the Air Force!
Randomize
