Kiss
Puke
Fine. I'll sleep in my office
so heres a good story. about 6 hrs ago i took a bath with bruce blasting. and 6 hrs later i woke up still in my bathtub but in cold water
What did we do last night that was yellow?
That shot tasted like Sant Claus came in my mouth. I love the holidays.
I'm wearing the bright blue sombrero all through the airport as a sign of triumph that I survived spring break. I'm getting compliments
she said 'i love fried rice', threw a condom at me and passed out naked.
I have never made a good decision in that bathroom...
the ladder is at the bottom of the pool
You could have chosen coming to fuck me over getting too hammered to drive. But you made your bed, and now you get to jack off alone in it.
I want to get business cards and hand them to hot guys and say " hey if you ever want to like makeout and pretend it never happened call me"
Dude, he's legal now. You could not pry me from his dick with the jaws of life.
Hooker in the library. I repeat, we have a hooker in the library. This is not a drill.
I feel like it went downhill once I decided we should take $100 tequila shots.. oops lol
My uterus is doing all sorts of karate moves to break free of my body.
Randomize
