weddingsv make me drug and hornr
i am so afraid to go to the bathroom. i am afraid i am going to fall asleep on the toillet.
Special does not even begin to describe that text.
I blew a .224 after sleeping for 6 hrs, cleary im a champion
the guy working at the drive-thru just asked me if i wanna bang after he gets off work tonight.
given your current drought situation, im genuinely curious to know what your answer was
i told him maybe and gave him my number. sad? probably. but even if the sex is bad maybe i'll get a free burger out of it
Well now I have my semen on her headphones
You have dresses for different occasions. I need different men's dicks too. It's logic.
And the cops are back. At least my pants are on this time
I woke up hugging my purse and I found a business card in my underwear. How?
Some guy named spider just bought me 5 shots
Pissing into the Grand Canyon is the single most liberating thing I've ever done in my entire life
That last one reminds me of the time we smoked that foot-long joint and by the time we'd finished we were so stoned we applauded it.
At one point my little brother was Rocky Balboa'd by a stripper's tit
i had to win in rock paper scissors, get called a fat whore, and make two dudes get in a fight so we could call next game on the table and you make zero cups. thanks asshole.
It's very disconcerting to wake up and she is gone. I never know where she could be. It's like playing wheres Waldo but Waldo could potentially be drunk and wandering around in weird places that normal Waldo's don't go.
why the hell are you crying over taco bell?
Randomize
