Anal astronaut?
Wow word travels fast.
Apparently at one point I was wearing my sweatshirt backwards like it was normal and then I threw up into the hood. Never drinking again.
i either just walked in on pete wacking off to webmd or he was checking his dick for herpes
he is training for a marathon but can't last more than five minutes on top. worst tuesday night ever
dont touch anything in my room. If its phallus shaped, i can almost guarantee its been in my vagina.
I need the number of a restaurant that delivers, has lock-picking abilities, and is okay with full frontal male nudity. Entirely too hungover to get out of bed.
Her boyfriend was hitting on other girls while drunk. But, she said she was okay with it because she is a feminist and she supports all women's decisions.
the two person party stopped when i realized that he tried to throw a hammer at my head.
We found Kyle. He was next door yelling at the elderly couple to let him continue his golf game. No more afternoon drinking for him.
Would you judge me if I made John grow a bush while he is in Cancun so he doesn't cheat on me?
Need to spend sober time with him while fully clothed. I can't decide if he's a seriously amazing man or a complete fucking dickbag.
This is me not judging you for what a fine line you draw between the two.
I arrived home at 7am wearing nothing but my underwear and a fedora. I ate half a dozen deviled eggs. Put Katy Perry on repeat. And cried myself to sleep. We cannot go out on Thursday anymore
You KNOW it was a good night when you find French fries AND taco remnants in your bra when you get home...
Just learned that the cute guy I've been flirting with at the beach this whole time is actually an inmate working in the community instead of being in prison.. My life is unreal
I want to conceive our bastard child on an athletic field. Why can't we make this happen?
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