I just got asked by a man in the alley if i would like to buy 50 dollars of meat for 20 bucks. Its been a weird day.
She was hit by a car at 47 mph and lived. That explains everything.
I will give everyone a free pointer today. Here it goes, always pee by the house late at night to avoid getting shot by drunk bastards with guns. Never go by the tree line.
guy in the car over is getting some terrible road head. he just gave me a thumbs down when he noticed i was watching.
All i've done since I got back to my room today is take a three hour nap. Like, I even planned to change my pants and haven't even done that yet.
I need to start giving them away because owning 20 dildos is never going to get me a boyfriend.
After three games of beer pong ending in victory by death cup, all four of us bonded in the fact that we all slept with the girl's boyfriend at some point in time in the past year. She had no idea.
at least the person I hooked up with donates to charity, the shirt I was wearing this morning was his relay for life shirt.
Just grabbing my bra from a history teacher's desk in the Humanities building. Maybe I should stop drinking on weeknights
I know it's not technically the "Mile High Club" but we def need a name for the airport bathroom. Cuz that just happened.
You looked up at me and said "I'm getting a mattress made out of this SHIT. Goodbye certa hellllllllo concrete!" then you started counting sheep
Denis dont give a fuck, Denis drinks out of straws. Denis disregards the fire station & bought 18 fire hoses so he can fight it himself if the farmhouse is on fire.
I'm not gonna swipe right, he has better hair than me. Just no.
That means I have to put pants on. That is not something I am willing to do right now.
woke up. showered n got ready. had sex. and was still 15 minutes early to work... its gonna be a good day!
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