Soooo billy mays was on coke. I'm about as shocked as I was when Clay Aiken came out
It's like you don't even want to get drunk with me everyday, anymore.
At what point in time did you think it was ok to jizz in my hair while I slept??
Around the time you told me my brothers dick was bigger.
I got laid and laid off at a conference in long beach all on the same day
Eh. They balance each other out
I know everybody has skeletons in their closet but why are all of mine so slutty?
Thanks for the cold. I shartted and sat through a whole soccer game. James made 3 scores.
Nothing says love like couples STD testing
Nothing says breakup like the results
Would it be wildly inappropriate for me to tailgate a Jonas brothers concert?
This is a whole new generation of premature ejaculators
Anyways, he came over at 3:30 am and ate me out while I ate pizza on the counter
Everything is covered in gelatin and pam cooking spray. Jesus be a shield.
I walked in to you guys using a milk jug as a gravity bong
Surrounded by smaller versions of the same
Remind me to tell you about how I hit a tree with my car last night.
I'll be glad to.
im going to smoke a cigarette and reflect on my life choices
27 year olds can still do oral in a car right? Or is that trashy?
Randomize
