I've blown a few things in my day
Dude she let me cum on her face
You have the wrong number I'm the she who let you cum on her face unless some other girl has let you since this morning
I literally need to be slapped with another cock just to notice it.
Nothing like a $37 iTunes bill. Jesus Christ do you know how many $2 beer/shot specials that is??? The answer is 16. 16 beer/shot specials.
Shared a jello shot with her mom last night. then she tucked me in and took of my shoes for me
Pretty sure he sprained my tongue. This is why you don't hook up with gingers.
I just faked an interview like I fake a fucking orgasm. Wonder if these candidates can tell I'm a tired and hungover recruiter?
Now if u will excuse me I have to go prep my vagina for this amazing sex filled weekend I'm about to encounter
Dude I introduced the hot Russian girl to the hot Ukrainian girls. I am a UN ambassador
Bake him heart shaped cookies?!? Send him a picture of your tits like an ADULT!
i have my bailey's and coffee which lasts me until lunch, at which time its appropriate for me to bring a vodka and OJ mix for the afternoon. This university thing is grrreat
I'm a 23 year old adult who just ordered condoms online from Target because I'm still too embarrassed to buy them in the store.
Is using cherry lube as jam shameful or hilarious
I threw your vagina at him like a grenade. And sweet Jesus he caught it like a champ
I suggest both. Please have sex with them and prepare notes for a final comparison.
Randomize
