I think scott just propositioned me for sex
hey, can i borrow that thing you never use?
what?
your penis
just watched a girl laugh at her own fingers... it's not even noon...
Be careful down there, Shane may have pooped on the carpet.
Its your turn to fuck our RA next time she threatens us with an underage.
I already apologized. And I got cum in my eye in return, I say your night beats mine...
He was the drug dealer that jumped out of his car to get my number
Home safe. Psyche shattered. Still rolling. In love with the morrocan rug in the living room.
Counseling BFF to break up with her BF. We will get that 3-way
Lost my credit card. M has a bottle of blood in her pocket from a hobo.
thing about being the result of a teen pregnancy is that all my baby pictures are of my mom and dad holding me around their stoned college friends.
He wouldn't let me ride him with a Ninja Turtles hat on...
I wish buying curtains was as easy as buying drugs. I already KNOW what I want and what the outcome will be: awesome.
WTF moment this morning: we were getting ready to leave and he reaches under his mattress to pull out his gun. All I could do was look at him and go "really?!"
I can barely operate my hands; what makes you think I can operate my dick
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