this is like her 8th guy since december, is she wasn't frumpy people would call her a whore
You owe me a new pair of headphones. You plugged mine into the top of a mustard bottle.
he just invited me over for the 3 p's...pepsi pizza and porn...I'm gonna marry him
im not picky. i just want someone whod go down on me while im writing my psych midterm paper. thats not a lot to ask.
There is an empty space on my boobs where glow paint should be.
My vagina is not really on board with my "emotional issues"
To tired for the bar. Came home and drank wine out of the bottle. Kind of don't want to know what that says about my life.
Drunkenly bought a $240 realtor course last night. Apparently even drunk me thinks my future is going nowhere
Its Nebraska, I'm sure im not the first person to wake up hungover in a corn field.
The lady sitting right behind me on the bus has baby birds in her purse. Shes feeding them bugs from a cup with a pair of tweezers... I love san francisco!
I had sex with a Dutch boy on a rock last night. Happy graduation! x x
Really because I got kicked out the eagles game for running up n down the steps singing ' fly eagles fly ' then punched a Dallas fan in the face before the game even started..
Probably twitter. Never underestimate a psycho girl with wifi
Wife and kids came home early...naked passed out covered in chili cheese Fritos dad will haunt them forever.
Got her pregnant in a minivan. Circle of life.
Randomize
