I just saw what sperm look like swimming around. I'm not happy with what you've put in my stomach.
corn on the cob and anal lube are not substitutes for the real thing
His friends call him "Gasm".... Im going for it.
I just had a librarian tell me that "wikipedia is like sex"
When he expanded on the analogy it actually made sense. "you're going to do it either way, so I'm just going to tell you how to do it safely."
After a valiant attempt at golf, I think it's time for Tiger to go back to doing what he does best- having sex w/ blond, white women.
At what point should i just give my brother a break and stop sleeping with his friends?
I am now best friends with a lesbian named Zulu. I am pretty hammered already and made a game time decision to stay here another night,for partying purposes
I know he'd never cheat on me. It'd be like choosing Mexican tap water over Patron.
She made this little rubber cap thing that looks like a brain to go on my dick. She calls it a "penis cap". Industrial design students are weird...
I have feelings that need drinking.
If you're going to do that you're going to need a pleather suit.
He does have a nice smile. I also like to think he has a nice penis, but that's just a prediction.
I gave myself a charlie horse masturbating this morning. I feel like that really set the tone for the day.
My new dentist just kinda stared at me when I told him that I used to have partial dentures after breaking 2 teeth while beating the shit out of someone, until I puked them into the toilet and flushed them after getting high and making myself undercooked mac and cheese.
Seriously my new passion in life is the girth of his penis
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