its good she wears the same dress to all the weddings so we can track how fat she's really gotten
so glad i banged her when she was skinny
I would rather wake up to a truck driver than wake up to her
When you come back do you think I could print anorexic pictures of Mary-Kate?
there was enough confetti in my bra to throw another NYE party
its my first week of college and i have a UTI
not easy being a whore now is it
Having never done that before, When should one expect the horrible shame to end? Days, months, ever?
A week or so, depending on size. In your case, maybe give it a month.
okay, please tell me Cammy is the one who put the picture and note on my desk saying "beat off to this homeboy"
It's 9am. I'm four lines ahead of you already. Wake up.
At least I'm fat on the outside. You can NEVER change being fat on the inside.
Well. I guess talking about me stealing your wife may not be in the list of legit conversations
The fact that you think I have a life is so flattering to me.
After owing so much in back child support they should make vasectomy a mandatory
I love when my neighbors have passionate, loud sex to remind me that I'm not getting laid
WHY didn't you stop me from ordering $900 worth of socks last night when I was very obviously judgement impaired at the time?!?!
Help. Why am I so naked?
Randomize
