I just heard a girl say "We can't go that way, it is a one way street." She was on foot...Nothing worse than girl from the midwest that move to NY to "live out their dream" -the dream of living in a rat and roach infested 200sqft for $2k a month, and get fucked by some recent Ithaca college frat grad...
We found her hiding in the bath tub.. And when i opened the curtain she replied "thank you" and walked out like nothing happened.
Don't let me forget to bring the toilet inside tonight.
A guy just walked down the street dressed as Mickey Mouse holding a 40oz. Where the hell did you leave me?
I should start an etsy shop with all the jewelry and clothes women leave at my house
How do we turn this unicorn pinata into a bong?
i don't know what part of 'duct tape bikini waxes' seemed even a little okay in our drunk minds, but i'm never drinking with your sister again
So he came on my stomach this morning and I totally forgot about it until after you poured that body shot.
I think tonight's gonna be the night I wear a go pro while trippin on acid
I'm abstinent now
Oh, is this one of the times when you're serious?
Who knew that showing someone your boobs would make them stop crying.
My mom heard me having sex with my boyfriend but thought it was the neighbors. She commented on how quick it was. I just nodded and changed the subject
That was the best shit ever it was like an exorcism for my colon
Does this cleavage amount say, “Fuck it, I’m over dating, let’s just fuck?”
you can't just call dibs on my vagina bro.
Randomize
