I like you better when you drink
I like you better when I drink too
I fucking love fucking science majors-- she told me that she wanted to know if her gag reflex got better or worse with alcohol, and that her initial evidence had been inconclusive. So, next few weeks, yeah, gettin blown periodically. All I have to do is keep a log.
He just said he wasn't going to drink on Saturday because he was drinking on Thursday and Friday...we need new friends.
I am highly attracted to the men and that's all i can say. I do not clap and make noises but i do turn to the side and say how i'd do incredible things to them if given the chance
Just bought a beer belt to complete the Captain America outfit. I will do my part as a hero of America to pass out beer to the good citizens of America.
She just causally held my limp dick in her hand the entire movie. Her parents were cuddling on the couch too..that brave!
After hearing her fall down in the shower for the third time, I decided to go check on her.
Dude, I puked in the stall for God knows how long. Halfway through, a kid sits down in the stall next to me and starts jacking off, i heard the porn on his phone and everything. so FYI, the middle stall is where good nights go to die
I was woke up by the fucking Star Spangled Banner this morning. I sat up in bed and put my hand over my naked heart. I was so confused
A guy just grabbed my balls before he shook my hand because he thought he knew me.
Did he think I was flirting with him when I ordered a hot dog bc no
I can't believe i just offerred a guy a burrito and head, and got turned down. Officially celibate now.
I want to eat a stick of butter
Did your pain meds kick in?
It tastes nice
I can't believe I'm going to buy bitcoin to pay for erection pills
We've been taking shots, cranking Marilyn Manson, and eating your bacon. Your kid is probably ruined.
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