I just saw a guy in front of the courthouse giving himself a sobriety test and fail it...this can't end well
he thinks the dog can do a keg stand. i will let you know how it turns out
How dare you. Idk what you called me, and neither does google translate, but you better take it back.
Giving you good advice and being naked are not mutually exclusive.
Our first kiss happened while shot gunning a hit from a gravity bong. Its that type of relationship.
Growing a beard is gonna make smoking a pipe look so much more majestic
What alcohol should i drink Saturday to completely hate life?
holy shit I just remembered that story I told about Tom hanks going bowling while high.
Well if I can't snuggle you, I might as well snuggle a stranger's cat.
Me and my liver are not on speaking terms.
I was told today that I'm the ugliest bartender in the area, so, I guess I have that going for me.
Yeah I passed out. The last thing I remember is the lady telling me I couldn't play the clarinet with my nose.
A good example of deductive reasoning: Knowing that when my girlfriend texts me "I promise not to smoke all your weed!" that she is...at that VERY moment...Smoking All Of My Weed.
the girls would appreciate it if you invited over some drunk, single, straight men with low standards.
Lol. I liked you the most when we were banging random girls and trying to tag team everything. You were happier then.
Randomize
