Do you think you have hit the lowest point in your life when you find yourself actually condisering watching the movie "Gigli"?
He's sitting on the floor holding his bracket and crying, literally crying... he just keeps saying "Kansas how could you?" over and over
You threw a bottle at the bartender and then stole his tip jar. However, you were quickly KO'd by the bartender. Solid right hook.
He just said he wasn't going to drink on Saturday because he was drinking on Thursday and Friday...we need new friends.
So I gave him a handjob and now we aren't friends anymore
You're at Notre Dame. What did you expect?
i just opened a bottle of wine with my dads power tools
we were boning in the bathroom when her boyfriend came upstairs. I wish i could remember what happened next more clearly, because it had to have been hilarious
I lost my keys but found four buffalo wings in my pockets
LISTEN TO ME! GAY. FIREFIGHTER. They are the most rare and precious kind of gay. The kind little gays dream of. It needs to happen.
Also.. The Hobbit does not look like a cartoon. We were just too fucking high.
listen. he fixes things. buys me drinks and sticks his penis in my vagina. age means nothing at this low point in my life.
Is it bad form to spend company money and place an ad in the paper because I wanna nail the sales girl?
Is it possible for mice to climb? If so I think mice are climbing into my bed in the night and playing with my hair..
I'm eating ice cream out of my purse
you drug him to get him horny then deny him sex. freaks.
Randomize