careful when you do the walk of shame, they are handing out bibles on campus
just found out i fit into magnum condums. this is going to be the best weekend ever
i think you walked me home, then i felt bad for putting you through the trouble so i walked you home...i'm not sure how i got home after that.
judging from the lines on my body they wheeled me back in a shopping cart
You found me in the back room alone eating someone else's whole birthday cake with my hands then asked me if you could join.
There's a guy in here whose face looks like it would be perfect between my legs.
Some idiot from high school is in the hospital for bonging three beers up his ass
He should have died. Natural selection.
We established that I was in 5th grade when she was in her final year of grad school. Her daughter is also in 5th grade.
Not good... He ate my chips. Thats not a sex analogy for anything. My actual potato chips... gone. I lost on both ends.
I have chafed skin from the handy she gave me. I told her that and she said return the favor when it heals. I'm in love.
She knew the head wasn't all that so she gave me her taco. I'm will in to give her a second chance.
And you are going to be so turned on by my batman skills later
Hold on, I'm taking nudes in a blanket fort right now
Ohhhhhh, that night......I need to stop drinking, almost all of my conversations that take place Wed thru Sun after 8:30 are one blurry haze.
God damn you Coronavirus! I'm jonesing I got the itch. I would fully satisfy a horse for some Taco Bell or Perkins. God help me I'm going insane but I definitely don't want to get sick.
Randomize
