are you still at the devil's house?
not only are you not the girl i fell in love with, but from the looks of it, you ate her
It was still light ouot when we were walking up Pier Ave and she kept asking if she could suck my nipples.
Oh. My. God. Best non-relationship, he-might-be-cheating-on-his-boyfriend-but-I-can't-tell-because-of-the-language-barrier sex EVER!
You stuck your head out the window to puke and got hit with a mailbox.
At what point should i just give my brother a break and stop sleeping with his friends?
I have to keep checking she's breathing. This is why we don't drink on Sundays
Just signed my boyfriend up on a dating website so I could officially have a reason to leave him for my hot neighbor.
i think the beer goggles wore off after hearing the story of her 2nd abortion
The only reason we got away with streaking last time was cuz we had those miner hats
For future reference "bring our litter sisters on our date day" is not such a good idea
sweet sixteen by hillary duff just came on and i feel like i let lizzie mcguire down for being such a stoner
I met someone else! And I had a wonderful orgasm! And he wants to see me again, like take me out!
Oh you know, we just bobbed for apples in a bucket full of jungle juice. So, a casual Tuesday night.
No one should have to go to work between Christmas and New Years, but here I am twirling in my office chair and putting Jack in my coffee like I’m back in college studying for finals.
Randomize
