We dont have to go to dinner or anything gay like that. I just wanna do it.
I absolutely love you.
you finished all 5 burgers, started crying tears of joy, and then claimed the tears were actually just 'meat sweats' from your eyes
New game: Step 1) Turn on ESPN. Step 2) Drink every time someone says "LeBron."
I feel if a girl leaves my house the next morning feeling degraded and in desparate need of a shower, then I have succeeded.
Or I die of a heart attack, which is the more likely/less fun scenario.
The last thing i remember is saying breakfast beer and carrying the keg to my room and locking the door.
did you find a tooth?
did you lose one?
What part of I'm done do you not understand? Im not going to send you sex photos to prove I've moved on..
It's all good. Going back to my room to try and air out my balls.
Already at the river; already getting fucked up. And yes that semicolon is legit because those are congruent statemests
ask me again when I'm sobewr aka tuesday
My boobs are feeling quite sensitive so I told them, " you is smart, you is kind, you is important" that should do the trick.
Isn't it my whole life blown into this perfect spoon shaped piece of melted and artificially colored sand?
Wow.
Someone had to wrestle her in the chocolate pool, I'm glad I was man enough to step up and do it
I can't take 'get a man' advice from you. You'll stick your penis in a warm banana peel.
Randomize
